Amateur Night At The Dixie Bar and Grill (1979)

Writer/Director: Joel Schumacher
Producer: Lauren Shuler
Music: Bradford Craig
Cinematographer: Ric Waite
Original Air Date: January 8, 1979 on NBC (Rob Cohen- Executive Producer); 100 min

Cast:
Victor French (Mac), Candy Clark (Sharee), Louise Latham (Fanny), Don Johnson (Cowboy), Jamie Farr (Snuffy McCann), Sheree North (Lettie Norman), Jeff Altman (Marvin Laurie), Pat Ast (Vera Elvira), Ed Begley Jr. (Moss Tillis), Gary Bisig (Roy), Joan Goodfellow (Marcy), Rick Hurst (Harry), Howard Itzkowitz (Duke), Roz Kelly (Doreen Reese), Mary McCusker (Anita Nutter), Melinda Naud (Joanne Nutter), Dennis Quaid (Roy), Kyle Richards (Laurie Nutter), Timothy Scott (Frank Smith), Allan Warnick (Reynald), Tanya Tucker (Sharon Singleton), Henry Gibson (Milt Cavanaugh), Dennis Burkley (Big Arnold), Bob Schott (Buddy), Corey Rand (Pepe Benasquez), Richard Collier (Bronco Andy), Brenda White, Michelle Michaels, Barbara Wiggins, Bernice Criswell (Highlighters)

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For the big screen, Joel Schumacher had written and-or directed several ensemble films in the 1970s and 80s (Car Wash; D.C. Cab; St. Elmo's Fire). For the small screen, he also made this delightful rural-tinged fable about heartbreak, soul searching and dollar ninety-eight divas, all during one night at a roadside tavern's talent contest.  Mac, the cynical bartender who owns and operates the Dixie Bar and Grill with his buoyant wife Fanny, is convinced that no one will show up to their first ever Monday night amateur talent contest, since it is pouring rain outside. But, as part of this film's big joke, where there's a fleeting chance at fame and fortune, there are droves of starstruck nobodies, talented or otherwise, who will clamour for the opportunity. And, as the other half of this film's quotient, despite the weather, the place will always be filled with their beer-swilling regulars who provide for the viewer just as much drama and entertainment as the people onstage.

Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill is a subtly satirical swipe at stardom (which has lost none of its relevance in this age of YouTube fame and American Idol), with its pretty comprehensive catalogue of traditional showbiz caricatures: hustlers, drama queens… and even one drag queen. While these caricatures are nothing new to anyone who has ever seen a movie or TV show with a similar plot, the enjoyment is had in poking fun at these very stereotypes. There are The Nutter sisters (one of whom is fiercely competitive with her sibling for the spotlight) whose song and dance act is sabotaged by an unfortunate attack of hiccups. There is a diva named Doreen Reese (Roz Kelly! aka- Pinky Tuscadero on TV's Happy Days) who surrounds herself with an entourage (including agent, makeup artist and bodyguard), superfluous for even a little roadside lark like this, yet the traditionally sycophant "yes people" cocoon her from the fact that she's as talented as a sheet of plywood. In between all of the standard amateur night staples of lame comedians, baton twirlers, ventriloquists and off-key warblers, the event is emceed by the typically cheesy radio announcer guy, who even uses his "local celeb status" to pull some favours, and remind us how much showbiz is based on mutual backscratching (or backstabbing). We are also instilled the sobering reality that stardom isn't so bloody marvellous via the washed-up doo-wop singer, his career derailed by alcoholism and meekness, who is hired as contest judge. The future of these fledgling entertainers (be it a lucrative recording contract, or dinner for two at the bar and grill) is dependant upon his verdict, so naturally he is hit up with threats and favours in equal measure.

Offstage, this film is also a gentle spoof of the rural film clichés so popular at the time. The stories of disappointment, loneliness, and loving the wrong person could liberally be swiped from the country records on the Dixie's jukebox. Beer salesman Harry is stuck on waitress Sharee, whose husband is in the slammer without any hope of parole. Her co-worker Marcy is stuck on drunken regular Cowboy (Don Johnson in a hilarious sendup of machismo, as this fun-loving hard-drinking good ole boy hobbles around on a crutch), who will never settle down. Mac is disappointed in his son Roy wasting his talent, emphasized again tonight when the cops escort him to the bar for rolling a joint. The element of past regrets and heartbreaks don't come any more vividly than in the characterization of the boozy floozy Lettie whose barstool dialogue is full of life's hard knocks (yet, another way in which this movie slyly subverts its cliches, her constant, colourful metaphors such as "Life is like the joke written on a cocktail napkin" would give her carte blanche at a beat poetry session). But like some of the best rural-set films of the age (like Handle With Care), these characters are never cast as buffoonish. Even the hick characterizations of Cowboy and Big Arnold are given hints of humanity beneath their flannel shirts. 

The success of this impressionistic film relies much on the ingredients that set it apart from others of the "let's put on a show" routine. In a rare lead, Victor French (best remembered in supporting roles for TV's Little House on the Prairie and Highway To Heaven) is very good as the cynical father, well-contrasted with Louise Latham as the nurturing wife (truly the rock of the relationship), and surrogate mother even to her staff and their "boyfriend problems". Candy Clark and Sheree North (as the doomed Lettie, who lends some film noir ambiance to the hoedown) are always a joy to watch, and even the small roles have a chance to shine. The resident chef does everything but flip burgers, such as watching cooking shows and police dramas on his little TV set, and doubling as lighting technician for the show. The gifted Pat Ast does a great show tune medley; a man dressed in a bear costume rocks out to the country chestnut "I Wish I Was A Teddy Bear"; and otherwise, where necessary, the cast portrays the remaining hopefuls with just the right balance to show untalented their characters really are. There is also some novelty in casting country star Tanya Tucker as a hopelessly stage fright singer- when she gets enough confidence to return to the stage, it's Tucker's own medley "I'm The Singer, You're The Song" that she croons. Interesting too is the way music is often used to convey people's feelings, especially Marcy, whose onstage rendition of "Why Don't You Let Somebody Love You" (a very touching scene) is a serenade to the ne'er do well Cowboy.

And if things weren't already busy enough, existing on the margins of this mosaic is someone named The Disco Killer, who has been traumatizing local roadside gin joints like the Dixie. Just what is the deal with that? Well, you'll have to see. Like most things in this movie, nothing is as obvious as it appears.

Because of the ensemble cast and character-driven narrative one is compelled to call this film "Altmanesque" (in fact, the casting of Altman regular Henry Gibson as the talent judge may be a nod and wink in that direction). Yet, it is also a piece of Schumacher's work at the time. The film recalls the same sad poetry of his screenplay for Car Wash. Both of these works are mosaics featuring many characters within a compressed period of time, and refreshingly, neither makes the mistake that so many "day in the life of", "night in the life of" scenarios commit. Not everything gets properly resolved, and not everyone gets their act together when the final credits roll. Realistically, few of these people experience great revelations. Giving a bluesy texture to the comedic scenario is Ric Waite's luminous cinematography, accentuating the Dixie's fluorescents and smeary neon. Although characters big and small are given quirks in Schumacher's script, his meticulous direction (with lots of coverage and reaction shots) gives them added dimensions. Like the best of Robert Altman's ensembles, this snapshot truly feels alive! I can give it no higher compliment than that: one has the visceral feeling of having spent a woozy night in their company. All said, it may be just another night at the Dixie Bar and Grill. At the end, many of these people have little victories, some have little disappointments, but they are all worth spending some time with.

Secrets of a Married Man (1984)

Director: William A. Graham
Writer: Dennis Nemec
Producers: R.W. Goodwin, Dennis Nemec
Music: Mark Snow
Cinematographer: Robert Steadman
Original Air Date: Sept. 24, 1984 on NBC (Tristine Rainer - Executive Producer); 96min

Cast:
William Shatner (Chris Jordan), Michelle Phillips (Katie Jordan),  Glynn Turman (Jesse), Cybill Shepherd (Elaine), Jackson Davies (Terry), Kevin George (Brian), Dameon Clarke (Alex), Tiffany Michas (Beth)

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I remember seeing the promo for this back in the day. Imagine seeing William Shatner with his plastic "TJ Hooker" hair, uttering: "Wear. Something. SE-XY!" Cut to Cybill Shepherd wearing something sexy. Cut to Bill Shatner looking like he's seen a ghost, as his necktie gets removed. This ad promised a camp classic for lovers of The Shat. The truth is something else, again.

Chris Jordan is a middle-aged aircraft engineer who has trouble with getting any engine started: not just with trying to fix the toaster in the kitchen, but especially in trying to stir some passion in the bedroom. Since he and his wife Katie are both professionals, and have three energetic kids to boot, there is little time for intimacy. After hours, Chris cruises the red light districts, looking longingly at the call girls strutting their merchandise on the sidewalks. One weekend, while at a trade show in Vancouver, he spends the night with a prostitute to satisfy his sexual needs. He continues having anonymous sex with call girls, until meeting a prostitute named Elaine, and becomes a regular client of hers. In addition to satisfying his physical needs, she also seems to connect with his emotions. This philandering and wavering attention takes a toll on the big project at his job, and causes even more strain on his family life.

On a surface level, this typically brightly lit, antiseptic 1980s made-for-TV film may seem remarkably sleazy. Underneath the upper class milieux of suburban homes, business meetings and posh hotel suites is an unsettling atmosphere of depravity. Witness the scene where Chris pops on his cassette tape of classical music while in his sedan cruising the red light district. Because his movements feel so mechanical, so rehearsed, we sense that this is part of a ritual that had already been going on before the movie's opening credits. (Plus, moments depicting sexual desire onscreen always seem creepier when classical music is playing. I don't know...)  Jordan's sexual repression is accented further with the constant foreground images of streetwalkers in hot leather pants, or cocktail waitresses' cleavage: the content may seem lurid, but it isn't really exploitative.

Yet at the same time, this is also an admirable study of infidelity. The filmmakers don't condone Chris' behaviour, as his moments with prostitutes aren't depicted as erotic. (The first call girl he sleeps with says, "No kissing on the mouth; I'm saving some for my boyfriend").  A physical urge may be satisfied in these rendezvous, but a deeper need remains unfulfilled. Whenever we see Chris and Katie attempt to be intimate, the end result is always miscommunication, hurt feelings and frustration.

It is clear from the opening scene that the marriage is in trouble, as both parties are unable to give the other what they want. Obviously, Chris causes the greater harm to the marriage because of his infidelities, yet neither spouse is presented as a monster. Refreshingly, Dennis Nemec's script doesn't take the easy way out by presenting Katie as a cold-hearted bitch in order to somehow justify Chris' betrayal. It was very wise to cast magazine-cover beauties like Michelle Phillips and Cybill Shepherd as the wife and the other woman, respectively, to emphasize the point that Chris' infidelity isn't founded upon visual attraction, but rather his blockheaded attempt at achieving a communication with someone.

A rare attempt at intimacy between Chris and Katie that once again leads to frustration.

"Special guest star" Cybill Shepherd was becoming a hot property again when this was made. Her career had floundered for a few years- appearing in subpar films after her separation with Peter Bogdanovich, until she landed the female lead and good notices in the NBC series, The Yellow Rose, which sadly only lasted a year. When she achieved even greater stardom on the series Moonlighting in 1985, NBC would occasionally schedule this movie to attract her new fans. William Shatner is surprisingly good: his performance is wisely restrained, further emphasizing Chris' bottled up emotions that he cannot properly express. (The promo stated above selected the obscure bits they could find to make this movie seem more sensationalistic than it really is. Television lied? Nah....)

However, the movie becomes far less interesting in the latter half with the inclusion of a stupid twist where Elaine's pimp forces her to blackmail Chris, or else he'll tell his wife that he's been unfaithful. One has the hunch that originally Dennis Nemec's script was more character-driven, until someone at an NBC board meeting prompted him to write a new ending, with some more sellable ingredients. In another film, this Screenwriting 101 contrivance might be okay, but here, it is maddening to see such a complex study of marriage and betrayal being thrown away for the sake of some ridiculous thriller clichés. Seriously? They couldn't find a better way for Chris to come to terms with his infidelities than Jesse the Killer Pimp?

While Secrets of a Married Man is never a great movie, it could have however been unique. It is a rare picture to give an honest look at the complex issues surrounding modern marriage and infidelity. The decision to tone down the films' cerebral aspects and beef up the visceral moments is another example of dumbing something down to the lowest common denominator and appeal to the masses.

Mysterious Two (1982)

Director-Writer: Gary Sherman
Producers: Gary Credle, Sonny Fox, Alan Landsburg
Music: Joe Renzetti
Cinematographer: Steven Poster
Original Air Date: May 31, 1982 on NBC (Alan Landsburg - Executive Producer); 96 min

Cast: 
John Forsythe (He), Priscilla Pointer (She), Noah Beery Jr. (Sheriff Virgil Molloy), Vic Tayback (Ted Randall), James Stephens (Tim Armstrong), Karen Werner (Natalie), Robert Englund (Boone)

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Many made-for-TV movies served as feature-length pilots for series that never materialized. Surely among the most unusual of these is Mysterious Two, which was filmed under the working title Follow Us If You Dare. John Forsythe and Priscilla Pointer star as two white-robed individuals who merely go by the names of He and She, claiming to be part of an extraterrestrial race known as "The People of Tomorrow", who convince disenchanted Earthlings to join them on their home planet, and live in harmony. But are He and She truly who they claim to be?

This pilot was shot in 1979, and sat on the shelf for three years before finally being released to network television- perhaps due to the success of John Forsythe in Dynasty? However, despite the 1982 premiere, this film definitely belongs in the 1970s, as it combines two pervasive, yet different, mindsets of the decade: the Utopian aspirations of counterculture, and the disillusionment of blue-collar people being screwed by the system. It also screams 70s in its rack-focus shots of sunsets, and flute music. Oh yes- the narrative eventually reveals its central character as Tim, a hippie-dippie flute player: a convert to the "People of Tomorrow" who begins to question the authenticity of He and She.

"Faith in He and She; that's the only commodity we need now."

Mysterious Two was produced with the images of the Jonestown Massacre still fresh in the minds of the public consciousness. One elaborate shot, consisting of a man searching for his "converted" wife amidst a field of bodies, is at first, shocking and exploitative, until we see that these people are merely unconscious and begin to awake from their mysterious slumber. However, the personages of He and She more recall the leaders of the Heaven's Gate cult. (This religious group would commit mass suicide nearly two decades after this film was made.) While the believers relinquish their material possessions and their wealth, and sever bonds with family and friends, they don't however transfer their property to He and She.

The first-billed Forsythe and Pointer appear only sporadically, at pivotal points in the narrative to help believers further on their journey to "tomorrow". Vic Tayback, best known as Mel Sharples in TV's Alice, plays a reporter who hopes that this story will give him a Pulitzer.  Noah Beery (as Rocky in The Rockford Files; and soon to be in the short-lived series The Yellow Rose) is the investigating sheriff (pre-"Freddy Krueger" Robert Englund plays his deputy!), who is powerless to do anything because in theory He and She have committed no crimes, as the adults have relinquished their material wealth of their own free will. (Interestingly, He and She do not allow children on the voyage, as they are not mature enough to think for themselves.)

There is a mosaic of several characters in different walks of life who convert to the "People of Tomorrow" (a white-collar exec; a dirt farmer; and various blue-collar workers), all for some spiritual fulfillment that is otherwise lacking in their lives. Witnessing these people blindly giving up their properties and abandoning their families, all for the sake of what may be a big scam, is suspenseful and heartbreaking. It is creepy to see flesh and blood humans become robots who say "Everything will be fine," owing a bit of inspiration to those overcome by the pods in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  (In fact, the happiest non-converted Earthling in the film is the slimy used-car salesman who manages to buy automobiles from the converted ones for peanuts.)

This narrative by writer-director Gary Sherman (more known for bigscreen genre fare like Wanted Dead or Alive, Vice Squad and Raw Meat) is ambitious in scope, even if the execution is uneven. The attempt at having several threads revolving around this cosmic event is admirable, but ultimately, for the longest time, people have little more to do than to sit on the hill at the agreed-upon rendezvous spot and wait for the Mysterious Two to arrive. We could have used a bit more characterization to help in these moments. The movie also has some voiceovers by Tim, thus suggesting that this character is "leading" the narrative: as such, this film makes the often-committed mistake of showing us incidents that he couldn't possibly have known. (But, since voiceover is a lazy cinematic device to begin with, they could have disposed of it without any serious harm to the story.)

"He and She will provide."

There is enough imagery to suggest that implicitly this film works as an indictment of cult leaders (He and She exemplify the dangers of blind faith), but Mysterious Two is perhaps more interesting as a snapshot of the 1970s, whether by design or not. Many movies become studies of the culture that produced them, especially when viewed well after the time in which they were made. The mosaic of the people on the hillside is a neat microcosm of post-Watergate Americana, featuring people (on the left, right and center) whose dreams have been deflated, and simply look for a greater value system to believe in. Is it any wonder that psychoanalysis and a fascination with paranormal activity were so prevalent back then?

Tim seeks to discredit He and She as the film unfolds, however, there are a few moments that are simply too fantastic to be written off as a gimmick or elaborate hoax committed by He and She. (In those moments, one can believe that these are celestial beings- part of the fun is in trying to figure out these two people.) A good supernatural story blurs our judgment as to what is real and fantastic: despite its lofty intentions, Mysterious Two does a pretty good job treading the line between the physical and metaphysical.

Because this is a feature-length pilot, several moments remain unresolved when the end credits roll. Presumably, as the prospective series unfolded with Tim further investigating He and She as they appear in other areas to recruit new converts, we would begin to learn more about their backstory (which is hinted at in the pilot). A lot of fun could have been had in learning that these two were who they claim to be, or an equal amount of amusement would in be watching the writers explaining how these He and She pulled off some of the more fantastic moments if they really were hucksters. The mystery of the Mysterious Two will remain unsolved, but what currently exists provides some interesting theories for both interpretations.

Mysterious Two was released on VHS by the USA Home Video and Star Classics labels, on DVD by Direct Source. The transfer on the latter is dark and murky, making many nighttime scenes hard to view- indirectly supporting the film's enigmatic feel.